Anticlimax
i walked down the back of Clerk Street, looking through fences (i'm not very tall) into other people's gardens. my favourite flowers are the pale yellow roses with pink edges, but there aren't any of those today, just lots of ragged red roses and other flowers that i don't know the names of. the man at the second hand bookshop was as unfriendly as i remember - in fact, he seems even more gruff when you are trying to sell him books. the ones he didn't want i gave to the Barnados bookshop. I feel as if i am preparing not just to move from edinburgh, but to exit life as i know it. I feel as if i should perhaps be making a will or something. it doesn't help that i have symptoms of depression to boot - i have been getting up at 11, which is not normal for me, even on a holiday, and i have lost my appetite completely. i am generating so few dishes that even though i don't have the motivation to wash up, it takes several days to fill the small sink. the toilet smells, but as there isnt anyone else in the flat, cleaning that is about 20th on the list of things i have to do, but can't be asked to. i haven't managed to find people to sit with at the graduation ball, so i can't be asked to get shoes to go with my dress. i feel like not going, because everyone's just going to get drunk, and i gave up drinking about five years ago. i wish i were dead. or i wish i were a doctor already, so i wouldn't have time to think about these things. the best thing about being a doctor is it's the patient who has the problem.

...have gingerly peeled the wrapping off my new 'Dr.' namebadge...

Man Stops Car and Coughs

At about 10:55 this morning a dark green Vauxhall Corsa pulled into the cul-de-sac at Summerhall Square. A witness in a nearby first floor flat reported that the driver of the vehicle, an overweight middle-aged man, opened the door and leaned over the curb. He proceeded to cough for a duration of 10 minutes.

"My first thought was - could he have aspirated? was there any haemoptysis? perhaps he was really vomiting and was in the throes of a myocardial infarction?" said the female witness, who declined to be named. This made little sense to the baffled reporter, who was left wondering if the witness was perhaps speaking in latin.

breaking the silence

am sitting in the library as my viva has been postponed by 2 hours. it seems one of my examiners hasn't turned up, so they've stuck me at the end of another list.
preparing for this exam has been a strangely nostalgic experience (it covers written work from years 1 to 5, i.e. right back to 1998). I think my writing style has perhaps deteriorated over the years - it used to be more descriptive and more involved. Maybe I've been reading too many journal articles and writing too many scientific reports.